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Pack it?

August 4, 2011 by Ellen Moore Leave a Comment

I still remember an art project in 7th grade. I don’t have the art project; it has to live in my memory. It was my very favorite piece of all my school projects and my teacher blew it up in the kiln. Gone. Overnight, all my hard work and pride blew apart into little pieces that now hang in my memory as what the piece actually was. It was an abstract sculpture of my initials, but the fact that it’s gone makes it live in grandeur in my head. It probably wasn’t really that great.

Today, it’s exactly one year since Catherine’s surgery and I find myself thinking about that art project. The surgery anniversary really has nothing to do with the art project, but I realized the date and sometimes things like that make Catherine’s world more real to me. So much is happening in our lives right now, that it’s nearly impossible to think back to that day of surgery. But I do. And in nearly the same moment, I think ahead to a move we’re getting ready to make. We’re finally moving from the 850 square foot house that’s enclosed our little family for ten years into a big, spacious 3000 square foot open floorplan that will immediately enable us to exhale. But first, we have to pack.

I glanced around the kitchen this morning and caught a bottle filled with colored sand on the stove. You remember the type. The bands of color fill the bottle – red, yellow, white, blue, purple, green, orange – over and over. A label on the bottle says, “Catherine, Summer, 2011.” And I thought for a second, “Well, I can trash that so we don’t have to move it.” And in nearly the same thought, I recalled my 7th grade project.

What if this is Catherine’s sculpture? What if she had the best time making it and she remembers the feeling of the gritty sand? Maybe they put fragrance in the color and she thinks about that. Maybe this is something meaningful to her. I paused for a moment because I don’t know. And I don’t know if or when I’ll ever know whether anything is meaningful to her or not.

So, do I pack it? Or throw it in the trash?

Filed Under: Doubt Tagged With: cerebral palsy, disabled kids, hope, kids, special education

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Comments

  1. Julie says

    August 4, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Pack it. You’re moving to more space, not less. When we moved from California to NYC there were lots of things that didn’t make the cut to be moved, mostly because they were charging me by the pound to move things and if I didn’t think we really “needed” it, then we tossed it. There are a number of things now that I wished we’d kept.

    And, by the way, I’m so super excited to hear about your move. I hope the new house with all the new space will give you all some room to breath. Blessings on all of you as you make this transition.

    Reply
  2. Bambi says

    August 5, 2011 at 4:13 am

    Ellen ~ I totally agree with Julie… pack it. It already means something to you for you to have even asked the question! And even if you never know for sure, you can consider it Catherine’s sculpture and it will make you smile. A lot! Hope your move goes smoothly…

    Reply
  3. Sharon says

    August 6, 2011 at 1:25 am

    I’m for packing it, too! And congratulations on your move!!! Are you leaving the county?

    Reply
  4. Nicole Kramer says

    August 27, 2011 at 6:45 am

    Pack it!! If you stopped to think about it, then it means something. I’m so happy for you guys! Please text or call me to let me know where you are going. We are here if you need eyes on the kids while you pack or with the packing and moving itself. Seriously.
    Nicole

    Reply
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    March 5, 2013 at 8:40 am

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  6. flea bombs for house says

    May 23, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    Hi! I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from New Caney Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the fantastic work!

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Ellen

I’m just a mom making my way, but my way is a little different. And yet, very much the same. I have a 13-year-old daughter, Catherine, who was born at 25 weeks and weighed one pound, nine ounces. Despite a very severe brain bleed, she lived and inspires me every day with all she works so hard to do... Read More…

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