And Then, Reality Hits

Brian and I are just back from a wonderful respite weekend away to National Harbor and Old Town Alexandria. We try to time our respite weekend over our anniversary, and this year hit perfectly. Sunday, we celebrated 18 years! The trip was perfect in every way. Good food. Lots of laughter, which we don’t seem to have time for in our day-to-day lives. And great sleep in the Westin Heavenly bed. Say what you will about the Gaylord, but I sure like the Westin beds with all their fluffy decadence. They provided the perfect backdrop for Brian and me to reminisce about our wedding day. It’s amazing what you forget… but more amazing what you remember!

We came home to find the babysitter relaxed holding Catherine. Sarah was on the computer playing games on the Sesame Street site. Have you seen that one? If you have a toddler, take a look. It’s fantastic. All seemed right in the world, and we were so relaxed I just felt tired. I even told Brian on the way home, “I’m not sure I like being relaxed. It just makes me feel tired.” But maybe that’s what normal feels like, and I just don’t realize it.

We invited Lori to stay for dinner and had a cheerful meal of hotdogs, tater tots and pears on the deck on a cooler-than-usual late May evening. I really did think my life was perfect in that moment reflecting on our weekend together. Brian put Catherine to bed, and Sarah and I had what has become a tradition of milk and cookies on the sofa before going to bed. We each drifted off to sleep quickly. I suppose being “relaxed” will do that.

I woke this morning to find Catherine on the sofa. I looked at her and thought her face looked a little waxy, but I figured her allergies must have been a problem so the nurse brought her to the sofa to help her settle. Every time I walked past, I thought, “Something doesn’t look right.” But she was sleeping hard, so I chalked it up to allergies.

When I got report, the nurse asked if I were up for the seizure. “Crap!” I thought. She’d had a seizure at 10:30 PM and Brian dealt with it alone.  I hate that for him. I hate it worse for Catherine.  What “didn’t look right” was her body drugged with Diastat. I marked it on the calendar where we track them and found our old neurologist’s info online. He’s moved to Hershey, PA, and I think we’re going to need to go see him. Reality hits hard when your relaxed at 7 AM on a Monday morning.

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  1. I’m glad that you got some time away and got to relax together as a couple. Those moments are so precious and so important. And I’m sorry that reality hit so hard. It was bound to hit at some point, but I’m sorry that it had to be a whopper.

    I’ve been thinking of you lately and hoping that you’re well. I was hoping to make a trip out there the first weekend in June but Nicholas is too sick for me to leave him with anyone at the moment, so I won’t be traveling anytime soon.

    Lots of love and blessings to you and your beautiful family.

    1. Ugh – sorry to hear that. Take it to f/b or gmail and lemme know what’s going on if you feel like it. I’ll say a prayer for y’all.

  2. It was nice to get away, but then you have to come home and deal with reality. Hopefully, the respite gives you some energy to go on.

  3. I found your blog through the Carolina Alumni Review and am so excited to read through it. I, too, graduated from Carolina (1985) and have a daughter with severe disabilities. I’m not sure whether you’re aware of a documentary about education and kids with cerebral palsy — I recently learned about it, and it turns out the film-maker is from Raleigh and a classmate of mine from Carolina! In any case, the name of it is Certain Proof, and the website is You’ve probably heard of it —

    In the meantime, I have a lot of reading to do here!

    1. I actually hadn’t heard of the film, so thanks for telling me about it. I’ll take a look. Cheers!

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