Spit in the Wind

A resident named the blog post today. They were holding rounds this morning and she was talking about how little Fentanyl Catherine is on and said something like, “For most kids, this would be spit in the wind, but because Catherine is so sensitive, it seems to be enough.” All the docs laughed at her “spit in the wind” comment and I told her she’d just named today’s blog post – whenever I got around to writing it.

I got to thinking about it though. Oftentimes, I think we may think we’re just spitting in the wind and, in fact, we find out that whatever we did was the perfect dose at the time. For example, my niece and nephew in Charlotte have been helping to make sure Sarah had a good week away from her sister. For them, I’m quite certain they had to do some things that seem minor and unimportant. For Sarah, though, they probably made it much easier for her to be away from us. They may think they were just spitting in the wind, yet I’m sure it was the perfect thing for Sarah at the time. Thank you Rusty and Georgia for being such cool cousins! And thanks to all the Charlotte family for taking such good care of her. We can’t wait to see her tomorrow!

And some friends of mine came to see me today. They may think it was a small thing to do. But it made dealing with all that’s going on both here at the H and in other parts of my life much easier on me. It was the perfect dose at the time. So, guys, thanks so much for making the trip!

Another example is when Dr. Miller’s assistant came to the ICU after Catherine had her reaction in the first surgery. She didn’t stay long – just enough to give me a hug. Maybe she walked away wondering if it was worth it. I can tell you for a fact – that hug kept me strong and was exactly the thing I needed to keep from falling apart.

And docs may think the Fentanyl dose is super small and spit in the wind. But Catherine seems to be pain free and alert enough to have been breathing for about 4 hours now, so she can get strong enough to breathe on her own tomorrow and hopefully they’ll pull the ventilator tube. She’s started some formula as well today and much of the fluid is coming off her body so she’s starting to look more normal. She’s on a micro dose of Epi to keep her BP up and the hope is that as fluid comes off her body, her BP will rise and the Epi can fall. These small adjustments may look like spit in the wind in the scheme of things. And I suppose they are. As far as I’m concerned, the spit dose is just right for now.